Dr. Camwoo's Grant Renewal

Dear Federal Agencies,

Please send more millions for this research into the beneficial effects of the wild goose liver.

The other millions were tremendous. We built a new wing at the Wild Goose Institute and hired many new staff members. We upgraded the computers with Windows Vista and we got a nice color copier as well. You would not believe the large fish tank in the waiting room, which delights the visiting children.

Of course it is for the children that we work so very hard. Children get sick, yes. And many get better after taking the liver of the wild goose.

For centuries the duck liver cure has eased the course of influenza. Sadly duck liver alone is not tasting like pâté but very bad. So we are grateful to the wise healers before us who found that only a tiny amount was needed for the benefit.

Wild goose is much like duck but its liver is greater. This is why we seek it.

There is a narrow-minded prejudice against our simple cure because it puts no money in the pockets of large pharmaceutical corporations. Keep this in mind if you go on the Internet to places like Science-Based Medicine. These people pretend to be scientific but they are really bigots who oppose research.

To quote Dr. Dean Ornish (who has been on Oprah): "...the science I love is curious, inquisitive, and unfettered by a priori certainty of what is true and what is not."

This great man is exactly right. A true scientist keeps chasing after the wild goose. The chasing can be lonely, as in the case of Galileo. But the true scientist never stops seeking a real answer to his question no matter what.

Your many millions do a lot to keep this wild goose chase going, and we thank you very much.

Respectfully,

Dr. Camwoo
CEO and Medical Director
Wild Goose Institute

Adventures of Dr. Camwoo

Dr Camwoo reaches in his pocket and extracts a small vial.

Camwoo: "We have found that goat's urine near the heart chakra helps the patient recover with less stress."

Surgeon: "WTF? You can't put that in my sterile field! Get out of here!"

In a later news interview:

Reporter: "So tell us about integrative healthcare."

Camwoo: "Yes, we now have learned of the integrative sterile field, which combines the sterile with something that is not sterile, so nothing is left out."